With all that has happened lately, I have had people ask me if I think I will ever get married again or if i have forever sworn off men- which is also sometimes followed by the phrase " I hope your husband didn't turn you lesbian." Well no matter my love of sports, number of short hair cuts I have had, and my lack of curves, I am into men. Sorry ladies. However, I could see myself with a nice gay man. He could take me shopping, my hair would be fabulous, and the biggest reason he could find to dislike me would be the fact that I am not a man. Perfect. No?
Okay, so maybe marrying a gay man wouldn't exactly be an ideal situation. I would probably have to bribe him with a large sum of money, or grow a penis. Either way it is dirty business. Anywho... back to the question. Do I think I will ever get married again? Yes, and no. Honestly, it depends on the day. Some days it is a hell no answer, and others it's a maybe. MAYBE.
On the days that it is a "hell no" are the days that I think of all the hurt that comes with relationships, and on the "maybe" days, are the days that I am missing all of the good things that come with a relationship. Right now, the hurt outweighs the good things and the answer to this question is would conclude to a "no." For now at least.
I know, I am still young, there are plenty of fish in the sea, you never know, etc. etc. I have heard all of post- break-up supposed to make you feel better relationship phrases. ( which are usually only told to you by your married friends ). For now though, I think I am going to just focus on figuring out who I am. I don't want to enter a relationship to find someone who "completes me". I don't believe that we should need to find someone who completes us, but rather someone who compliments us. Kind of like chocolate and pretzels. Both are completely capable of being delicious on their own, but when you put them together they create this beautifuly harmonious sweet and salty best-of-both-worlds party in your mouth. That is what a relationship should be like. ( I couldn't get through one blog without the mention of food ).
Now off to find some chocolate covered pretzels.
I thought about that huge question when my husband and I separated at first. Even now, I had myself convinced that I will never get married again should he and I officially break up. Since we've reconciled (and still don't live together), I don't think about it, but I do think I will get married again and multiple times.
ReplyDeleteP.S: Chocolate covered pretzels are love. :)
Good blog...good points. :o)
ReplyDeleteYou're right to think that your partner in life shouldn't 'complete' you. I didn't spend a lot of time figuring out who I am before I got married, blut luckily my husband knows exactly who I am and he helps me along the way when I stumble. He compliments me, and he is my very best friend.
ReplyDeleteTake the time to find yourself, as cliche as that sounds. Don't let anyone make you feel like you need a man (or a woman, lol) to be complete.
I feel the same way. It always worries me a little when people say their boyfriend/fiance/husband has helped them discover their self-worth. While I do think a relationship can help with that, I think you have to discover your own self-worth and know how awesome you are, without having to have some guy tell you that.
ReplyDeletejust found your blog and im LOVING it :-)
ReplyDeletehttp://mscomposure.blogspot.com
http://infinitelifefitness.com
You are wise to think things through, and perfectly on track when you say you don't need a man to complete you. A good compliment would be fine as long as he loves you more than anything else and wants to share his life with you and enjoy the world together. Not expect a housekeeper and cook.
ReplyDeleteYou have lots of time, and right now, your focus on becoming a chef, and a darned good one is right for you.