Showing posts with label Social Anxiety at it's worst. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Social Anxiety at it's worst. Show all posts

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Living a Nightmare

Now that I have had a day or so two unwind and deal with a bout of post traumatic stress,  I will try and collect my scattered thoughts and tell you how my group exercise instruction class went. You will have to forgive my scattered thoughts because I tend to sort of black out when it comes to extremely nerve racking social situations but...well let's just say it was just like this nice video below.... x100.



Yes, it was just like this, and in no way am I exaggerating. Not only did I expect Richard Simmons to prance into class at any second,  the teacher would randomly select students to teach by pulling them up front, stripping them of their dignity,  and strapping a michrophone to their head. I was terrified, and was sure I would freeze like a deer in the headlights if I was selected. My head felt like it was being squeezed by a vice, my heart was pounding, and my stomach created a boyscout knot in my intestines. I could feel sweat start to pool in my armpits, and the "flight or fight" response was in overdrive. My eyes remained fixed on the clock, and the glowing exit sign over the doorway. I didn't think the class was ever going to end.

Finally, we took our last awkward dance steps and the world's longest class came to an end.  I somehow made it through 4 hours without being selected to teach but I was not out of the woods yet. While the instructor found a way to keep us even longer than 4 hours, she warned us that we would all be teaching the class next Friday and to be prepared. All of us? Me? Teach the class in aerobic dance? Are you freaking kidding me? I would feel dumb doing aerobic dance exercise by myself in a dark room let alone in front of 35 people.

I am trying to think of ways to stay positive. I know that I am not the only one that is afraid of looking like a dumbass...and eventually we will move on to other forms of group exercise...like aqua aerobics..so basically it is dance aerobics only instead of feeling exposed and naked up front teaching a class..you are already pretty much naked...oh yes don't be jealous. The only upside I can think of at this moment is that eventually we will get to learning how to teach spinning. This, I think I can handle...but who knows when that will be. Good Lord what did I get myself into? How am I going to survive the rest of the semester?