Sometimes I am still awkward. Alright so...the majority of the time I am still awkward. I guess it depends on who I am with, but usually my awkwardness includes awkward laughter ( sometimes at inappropriate times ), selective mutism, or if I am actually able to spit out a few words it is completely off the wall. Welcome to my life.
I know, people say that being shy is not a bad thing, but it is to me. I hate it. Why? Because people seem to get the wrong impressions of me. They either think I am stuck up, or stupid. Well, one of those might be true... but trust me, if I was stuck up I wouldn't choose to portray it by not talking to you. I try to counter-act the stuck up judgement by smiling. But then I get more of the "I smile because I have no idea what is going on look."
I guess you could say that I hate being shy so much that it actually gets me down sometimes... I mean, I kind of started this whole blog on the subject. I know that being shy could possibly "just be part of who I am." but I still don't think I really am a shy person. I have plenty to say, but for some reason I choose to not to speak. Maybe being shy is more of a defense mechanism for me than anything. Perhaps I am afraid to let people see who I really am. So what is it I am afraid they will see?
I'm not shy but I'm "ask" shy. So I've started soliciting as part of my job and no joke, I have walked by so many doors instead of going through them. Literally walked by instead of through! When I finally walked through the first door, the second door got a tiny bit easier and so forth.
ReplyDelete1. I know you're not stuck up.
ReplyDelete2. I know you're not stupid.
3. I see you breaking through your shyness barrier.
4. I appreciate what you say when you do speak.
Isn't it a relief that it's hard to talk when working out? About all I can do is moan and groan (pre-, peri-, and post-WOD).
Up until very recently I was painfully shy. I kept a book with me so that if I was anywhere and didn't know anyone, I could look busy (this was before I had twitter, which is what I use it for mostly now). And I found my friends liked me being shy and/or quiet because it made me a good listener. I took the listening skills and became a don in residence and built some incredibly relationships, all while still being shy. I don't know what happened but a switch flipped and now I'm much more of an extrovert, but that's neither better nor worse than being introverted.
ReplyDeleteYou are most definitely an incredible person. And if you're more comfortable being quiet, stick with that. If you wish you were more outspoken, get comfortable with the fact that, well, you are awesome and the world isn't going to collapse if you let your awesomeness shine through more.