Long Time No Blog

Long time no blog. I guess you could say I have had a bit of a bloggers block, but I guess I shouldn't let that stop me from rambling on about nothing as usual. Whats the big difference except that it is a lot harder than usual to write about the same amount of nothing important?

Well, I guess I could give a little life update. I am still in culinary school, however, I am almost done. Crazy to think that one year ago I was one of those sad chaps I pass in the hallway with the new uniform fold creases, and terrified looks on their face. They to, will get to be this awesome some day...kidding. I still have a lot to learn, and I am excited to keep learning. In fact, you never stop learning as a chef. This fact is one of the most exciting things about becoming one.

On the exercise front, I am still running, however I have discovered a little thing called CrossFit. If you don't know me, you should know that I am very competitive. I keep that on the D.L. though. CrossFit kind of fills that competitive need I have in my life. The only problem is that I get my ass kicked everyday. I have been a runner for so long that strength is still not my strong point. I am humbled everyday by CrossFit. It puts me in my place. Which is usually on the ground in a puddle of sweat.

I am not going to lie, I thought about abandoning this blog and starting fresh...but I couldn't do it. I have come a long way in this whole journey of life lately and there are still things that have been left unwritten. It has been such a long time since I have truly sat down and blogged that it is hard for me to sort out my thoughts but it is time I organize my thoughts and get re-acquainted with my keyboard.

Life's Unexpected Obstacles

I have been trying to write a blog for going on 2 weeks now, maybe longer...I have written drafts, erased drafts, almost hit the publish button, and then left half-written drafts sitting with no intention of ever finishing them. The problem is not lack of things to write about...its that I have too much. There has been a lot going on and thinking of writing it all out is overwhelming. However, I have to start somewhere.

Despite my great attempts to write a beautifully thought out blog on all the latest in my life I made the decision to just get it out there no matter how ugly the end product was. So bear with me. It could be a bumpy ride.

Now where to start...

Good news or bad news first?

I was always a bad news first kind of girl so here it is:

I am getting a divorce.

That is the first time I have ever written out that sentence. It seems blunt, and to the point but why soften it up?  It stings a bit. I never expected to be a 24 year old divorcee. Life throws some big obstacles but I never expected this one would come my way.

So what happened? Well, that is a long story that I am not really ready to tell. I want to tell it, but there are a few things stopping me. #1 My brain, #2 The situation ( no not the MTV situation ) In time, perhaps it will get easier to talk about, but for now I just can't find the right words. It is hard for me to express it, or even explain it-so for now I am leaving it at that.


The good news:

I have culinary school for a distraction and I am experiencing new things on a daily basis. I am slowly getting used to interacting with people and I can tell I am gaining a little bit of social confidence. I don't always find the need to keep my mouth shut, and in the chaos of the kitchen I am forced to open my mouth or get left behind. I experienced my first midterm last week, and although I felt like I was in a bad quickfire challenge on TopChef, I made it through unharmed.

I also find that although I am shy- that I am craving a sense of community or that I am happiest when I am around people. Of course I still like my alone time just like any other introvert,  but I find myself longing for more friends and to meet new people. New people still terrify me, and I have to force myself to get out there but it is getting slightly easier and more gratifying.

One of the hardest things about a failed marriage is that you are suddenly left single with all of your friends getting married, married, or married with kids. Suddenly I feel lonely and left behind.

The world seems pretty overwhelming at the moment. I apologize for this post being all over the place.

Cheers to singlehood.