Honestly

I'm happy. I love my life, and I am extremely thankful for what I have. I know that I am very fortunate, but is it ever okay to not be okay? Can you feel happy, and fortunate yet sad at the same time? At what point is it okay, to say "No, I'm not okay"?

This year I have made a new promise to myself...and that promise is to be as honest and open as possible in all aspects of life. Of course, it is a work in progress... because this all means being a bit vulnerable, which to me is one of the worst feelings in the world. Its like running around naked...in the cold, while being chased by someone trying to whip you with a wet towel.

So what does this new pact of honesty mean to me? It means getting a little uncomfortable, exposing myself ( emotionally...not physically. Scared you for a sec huh? ), being honest with myself, and with others. When someone asks me if I am okay, my automatic response is always "yes". Any other answer leaves me feeling vulnerable. Not being "okay" means there is something wrong...or that I am not as strong as I would like to appear...but I am finding that the biggest sign of strength is being true and honest. It is one of the hardest things to do right? Honesty is true strength. So I guess its time to be strong and I will start by saying that no, I am not okay..but I am happy. I have a bit of a hump to get over, but admitting this does not mean that I am not strong enough to get over it. Honesty also comes into play when it comes to relationships/friendships...if I don't agree with something, have a problem with you or feel a certain way...I am going to try my best to be up front about it...no matter how hard it is. I think everyone deserves the truth, even when it is hard to hear.

I will always be that friend that tells you when you have something in your teeth.

Time to get a little more honest. Life is just getting started.

Long Time No Blog

Long time no blog. I guess you could say I have had a bit of a bloggers block, but I guess I shouldn't let that stop me from rambling on about nothing as usual. Whats the big difference except that it is a lot harder than usual to write about the same amount of nothing important?

Well, I guess I could give a little life update. I am still in culinary school, however, I am almost done. Crazy to think that one year ago I was one of those sad chaps I pass in the hallway with the new uniform fold creases, and terrified looks on their face. They to, will get to be this awesome some day...kidding. I still have a lot to learn, and I am excited to keep learning. In fact, you never stop learning as a chef. This fact is one of the most exciting things about becoming one.

On the exercise front, I am still running, however I have discovered a little thing called CrossFit. If you don't know me, you should know that I am very competitive. I keep that on the D.L. though. CrossFit kind of fills that competitive need I have in my life. The only problem is that I get my ass kicked everyday. I have been a runner for so long that strength is still not my strong point. I am humbled everyday by CrossFit. It puts me in my place. Which is usually on the ground in a puddle of sweat.

I am not going to lie, I thought about abandoning this blog and starting fresh...but I couldn't do it. I have come a long way in this whole journey of life lately and there are still things that have been left unwritten. It has been such a long time since I have truly sat down and blogged that it is hard for me to sort out my thoughts but it is time I organize my thoughts and get re-acquainted with my keyboard.

Sawdust?

Blog everyday in June...day #2 So apparently I was supposed to blog about food yesterday for the Food Friday theme but I had already posted for the day when this decision was made. Fail #1 and onto day #2. Blogging everyday used to be pretty easy for me. I almost did it for a whole year. I don't know how I did that... its not like I had anything exciting to blog about...nor do I now, but I think I made up for that year of blogging everyday by blogging only a handful of times this year. But hey less is more right? Especially when it comes to my mind vomit that used to be more regularly spewed onto this blog.

Speaking of vomit... for whatever reason, when I think of vomit I always follow it up with the thought of sawdust. This may seem even stranger than the norm, but I think it stems back from elementary school. When I was in elementary school and child vomited they would cover it in sawdust before cleaning it up. Is this like a thing? A secret to the cleaning of vomit? Or, is it like a religious thing? I went to a Christian school so you never know...maybe it was symbolic and they were covering it in "cross shavings." Maybe they saw puke as a sort of natural exorcism? Or maybe it was just left over shavings from Jesus's carpenter days. Whatever the reason, it will always stick in my mind. Every time I vomit I smell a hint of pine. Not that I vomit on a regular basis...

Anyways...moving away form the vomit talk. Since I haven't really posted in awhile I guess I could do a quick update on what I have been up to. This may be similar to a conversation you have with a friend you haven't seen in awhile...this is the part where you nod and smile, pretend that you are paying attention, and maybe even care a little. I will try and keep it short and sweet.

My life in a nutshell:
I go to culinary school, I run, I do Crossfit, I cook, I eat paleo. I will expand on this at a later time... I mean, I have the rest of June right?

Happy Saturday!