I'm happy. I love my life, and I am extremely thankful for what I have. I know that I am very fortunate, but is it ever okay to not be okay? Can you feel happy, and fortunate yet sad at the same time? At what point is it okay, to say "No, I'm not okay"?
This year I have made a new promise to myself...and that promise is to be as honest and open as possible in all aspects of life. Of course, it is a work in progress... because this all means being a bit vulnerable, which to me is one of the worst feelings in the world. Its like running around naked...in the cold, while being chased by someone trying to whip you with a wet towel.
So what does this new pact of honesty mean to me? It means getting a little uncomfortable, exposing myself ( emotionally...not physically. Scared you for a sec huh? ), being honest with myself, and with others. When someone asks me if I am okay, my automatic response is always "yes". Any other answer leaves me feeling vulnerable. Not being "okay" means there is something wrong...or that I am not as strong as I would like to appear...but I am finding that the biggest sign of strength is being true and honest. It is one of the hardest things to do right? Honesty is true strength. So I guess its time to be strong and I will start by saying that no, I am not okay..but I am happy. I have a bit of a hump to get over, but admitting this does not mean that I am not strong enough to get over it. Honesty also comes into play when it comes to relationships/friendships...if I don't agree with something, have a problem with you or feel a certain way...I am going to try my best to be up front about it...no matter how hard it is. I think everyone deserves the truth, even when it is hard to hear.
I will always be that friend that tells you when you have something in your teeth.
Time to get a little more honest. Life is just getting started.
