If you are living in the States and have always dreamed of a trip to Europe than you probably won't understand this post very well. Don't get me wrong, Germany is awesome. There are so many things to do, and so many things to see...but after awhile when simple everyday tasks become difficult because of the language barrier, or difference in culture, you start to miss the simplicity you used to have. Simple things like shopping, driving, finding and using a public toilet, getting internet under two months, and signing up for a marathon all become overly complicated and draining.
Yes, half of these simple tasks gone wrong are probably mostly due to my inability to be confident and get things done, but it feels horrible to have back-stepped so far into my shell. I have never completely broken out of my shell but I feel like I was able to reach a hand out before I left, and now I have completely sucked myself back in so far that I can't even see the opening.
I don't consider myself an independent person. I always seem to rely on someone for something but I have completely given up any independence I had. I can't even go on a full grocery shopping trip on my own.
I think I will stop before I turn this blog into an ongoing irrational sob story. Some days are better than other's. But there are days like today where I feel particularly homesick and I decide to spill whatever comes to mind. I have been on an emotional roller coater these past few months. Thanks for hanging on for the ride.