Things Old People Don't Get

1. Younger- Obvious
2. Facebook Changes- Want to freak out an older person? Just wait for Facebook to switch things up a bit and watch them go crazy.
3. Hulu - "Darnit I missed my show"
"You can just watch it on Hulu later."
"Oh, on our TV?" "No, on the computer."
"Oh, whats Hulu? How do I do that?" - They will never actually try it because it involves too many steps.
4. Autocorrect- "Thats not what I want to say!" ( Insert explicit language here ).
5. DVR/On Demand "I had to choose between watching Dancing with stars or Hells Kitchen"
"You know you can record one right?"
"Oh, I can? I didn't think of that"
"Yea..that is why you are paying the big bucks for that cable package..."
On Demand - "So its like renting a movie?"
"yes."
"But it costs money."
"The new ones..yes. Think: Blockbuster in your home."
"Oh"

6. Self Check-Out - Self Check-out should have an age limit of 40 and under. Not only do older people not get how to use it, but they will pull up with a FULL shopping cart. By the time they finish checking-out, you will be over age 40 and strongly encouraged to move to a regular check-out lane.

7. Twitter- Unlike e-mails, Tweets do have an expiration date. You cannot respond to a tweet a week later and expect the person to know what in the world you are talking about.
Example:

@suchandsuch"Had the best Pizza for lunch."

One week later:

@suchandsuch "YUMMO!"

@oldperson"What?"

Chardonnay on a Lava Rock

Yesterday was my practical final exam for my Fundamentals class. We had 2 hours and 15 minutes to complete the exam which included making: Hollandaise sauce, Chicken Chardonnay, pureed potatoes, Glazed Carrots, and Cream of Broccoli Soup.

Sounds pretty easy right? Well yes, and no. The recipes are easy, but what makes the exam hard is fighting over product,  equipment, and a place on the stove with 20 other people while under a time constraint. One of the hardest things for me to do was to stay focused on what I was doing and not pay attention to what the people around me were doing. I learned that I don't trust myself very much because I found that I wanted to do things in the order that the people around me were doing, and was doubting the way that I had laid out my prep list. Despite my self doubt, I stuck to my own prep list, and I am really glad I did or I could of easily ended up a sweaty mess in a corner curled up in the fetal position.

 Finals in culinary school are not your average college exam. They are physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. I could run 20 miles and it would still not be equal to the type of exhaustion that you feel after completing a practical exam in the kitchen. Not only does the kitchen feel like a huge oven, but you are also wearing a hat, a neck tie under your chefs jacket, a shirt under your chefs jacket, and thick chefs pants. If you still cannot picture the comfort level of this situation, picture yourself in a desert wearing a beanie, a long-sleeve turtleneck, a vest, and sweatpants while cooking chicken chardonnay on a lava rock.

All in all, the final went well and I passed. My Hollandaise sauce was a little thick ( probably from waiting forever to find Chef and have her taste it )  but my soup was tasty, my potatoes were creamy and delicious, my carrots were cooked and glazed well, I didn't serve raw chicken, and my sauce was tasty and well seasoned.  There were a few bumps in the road along the way when every stove burner was occupied making me create an alternate route for my prep list, or when someone jacked my mushrooms for my chardonnay sauce ( luckily the person realized it and gave me theirs, but there were a few moments of "Oh Sh*t" ).

It is the morning after the exam and I am still winding down from the adrenaline rush. I was so exhausted that I actually laid down after I got home with the intent of sleeping. Which- if you know me, is not normal. I don't nap. ( not intentionally at least ). I am relieved that it is over, except finals only get more challenging from here, but hey, what is life without a challenge right? 

Where to Start

It is days like today that I miss having someone to do nothing with...nothing important at least. I miss being able to wander around aimlessly with someone due to lack of anything better to do. I miss going to the mall and looking at furniture we could never afford, kitchen appliances that we could only dream of, and wandering through IKEA imagining how our future dream home might be decorated. ( Dream homes come in IKEA dream kits that you assemble yourself ).

It is also at these moments that I wish I had friends that I could relate to and help take my mind off of days like these.  Divorce is hard enough as it is, but unfortunately it throws you into a whole new phase of life that you never wish for anyone to experience. My close friends all got married around the same time, which is usually followed by babies, mom jeans, and mini-vans. They now have the babies, and I have divorce papers. Things didn't exactly go as planned.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I am not really sure about the reason behind all of this yet but I am at the start of a journey to figure out why.  It feels like I am having to start life all over again and honestly it is a bit scary and overwhelming. I don't know where to start.

Life's Unexpected Obstacles

I have been trying to write a blog for going on 2 weeks now, maybe longer...I have written drafts, erased drafts, almost hit the publish button, and then left half-written drafts sitting with no intention of ever finishing them. The problem is not lack of things to write about...its that I have too much. There has been a lot going on and thinking of writing it all out is overwhelming. However, I have to start somewhere.

Despite my great attempts to write a beautifully thought out blog on all the latest in my life I made the decision to just get it out there no matter how ugly the end product was. So bear with me. It could be a bumpy ride.

Now where to start...

Good news or bad news first?

I was always a bad news first kind of girl so here it is:

I am getting a divorce.

That is the first time I have ever written out that sentence. It seems blunt, and to the point but why soften it up?  It stings a bit. I never expected to be a 24 year old divorcee. Life throws some big obstacles but I never expected this one would come my way.

So what happened? Well, that is a long story that I am not really ready to tell. I want to tell it, but there are a few things stopping me. #1 My brain, #2 The situation ( no not the MTV situation ) In time, perhaps it will get easier to talk about, but for now I just can't find the right words. It is hard for me to express it, or even explain it-so for now I am leaving it at that.


The good news:

I have culinary school for a distraction and I am experiencing new things on a daily basis. I am slowly getting used to interacting with people and I can tell I am gaining a little bit of social confidence. I don't always find the need to keep my mouth shut, and in the chaos of the kitchen I am forced to open my mouth or get left behind. I experienced my first midterm last week, and although I felt like I was in a bad quickfire challenge on TopChef, I made it through unharmed.

I also find that although I am shy- that I am craving a sense of community or that I am happiest when I am around people. Of course I still like my alone time just like any other introvert,  but I find myself longing for more friends and to meet new people. New people still terrify me, and I have to force myself to get out there but it is getting slightly easier and more gratifying.

One of the hardest things about a failed marriage is that you are suddenly left single with all of your friends getting married, married, or married with kids. Suddenly I feel lonely and left behind.

The world seems pretty overwhelming at the moment. I apologize for this post being all over the place.

Cheers to singlehood.

On Week One

One week of my first term of culinary school down, ten to go. This last week has been a stressful one, but it is one of the best weeks I have had in a long time. The stress of new surroundings, new people, and a wealth of information outlined for us to learn has definitely left me feeling like I just ran a marathon. However, the best thing about marathons is that endorphin rush you get from it. I was pushed in ways that I haven't been pushed in months. I was pushed socially, physically, and mentally, but it left me hungry for more. I can feel myself improving in all of those aspects in just a few days.

One of the things that I have enjoyed the most is learning about the little details in cooking that differentiate a home cook from a chef. Details that range from the presentation, knife cuts, or to the way you build levels of flavor. There are a ton of little details that make a world of difference and I am enjoying every second of learning about it. For those of you that think that culinary school is easy, you are very wrong. There is homework and research papers just like any other major except you also risk the chance of losing the tip of a finger or getting a third degree burn. It is also not recommended that you don't do homework on an empty stomach because it will most likely make you extremely hungry.

Well, that is my brief synopsis of my first week. Can't wait to see what next week has in store.

The Day Has Come

It is finally here. Day one of Culinary school. Although it is only a lecture class today, I can hardly contain my excitement. I have been waiting for this day for so long and I can't believe it is finally here.

I have the familiar first day of school jitters, (yes, I am 5 years old. ) and lucky for me my mind likes to imagine worst case scenario's before I even get there. What if I am late? What if I forget something? What if I do something horribly embarrassing? I guess a lot of my fear comes from not knowing what to expect. Fear of the unknown- which will hopefully cease by the end of the day.

The best part about today is that I feel like this is the start of a new chapter in my life. I don't know what the next chapter holds but I am looking forward to seeing how it unfolds. Cheers to a new chapter, and hope that I don't embarrass myself!

I Wasn't Always So Fearful

Skateboard competition in Fresno

There was a time in my life when I wasn't so afraid of everything. I may have even seemed fearless at times. I was still a bit of a social outcast and was never the life of the party, or outgoing by any means but I knew who I was, and at some point in the last few years I have completely lost that.   

Look at that crowd. I had the best fans....

I was never afraid of the boys

I wasn't full of confidence then, but I had more than I have now. I was still able to fight off the fear of what people thought of me. I was shy, but I didn't care. I just did my thing. Playing sports helped me forget that I was shy. There was no room for a lack of confidence on your board, or on the field. I was far from timid and may have even been called aggressive-I didn't even have to talk. 

Now, unfortunately as an adult people automatically expect you to be able express yourself in other ways than skateboarding and slide-tackling. I am so awkward in person ya'll. It is really hard for me to get a job because people see me as being stuck-up, dumb, and lacking confidence. These are all of the things an employer does not want to hire. I am so terrified of how I present myself, and what people's impressions of me are that I am afraid to do anything concerning people that don't already know me. There are so many things I want to do but am too afraid. 

I want to go on group runs with the people from the local running store, make new friends, run more races, carry on conversations with people, have a good job interview that actually lands me a job, and find some confidence. 

I only have one life, and the events of the last few weeks have shown me that it is in fact very short, and the way you live it could determine your happiness in the end. 

I need to stop being so afraid.