Sunshine Makes The World a Better Place

I can’t believe it. I think I may be dreaming. There is a beam of sunlight shining through my window for the second day in a row. It’s marvelous.
There is something about sunshine that makes the world a better place. It makes me want to picnic on a hill of freshly cut green grass  with with my three straight Dad’s from San Francisco (right..mmmhmm)  and Comet too of course…ok so maybe I have just been watching too much Full House.




There really is something about this weather  that makes cheesy childhood shows a little more tolerable and appropriate in adult life. Maybe it creates a short term illusion of being worry free. It gives me visions of what I would like to do on this sunny day but in reality I will probably spend most of it packing. Which, in my childhood days all I would have to worry about packing was my blanket, and stuffed animals…which I seem to have successfully done because my parents house is still loaded with them.
The episode of Full House I was watching just ended…sad day.       ( the Yankee Doodle Dandy episode ) Now I am watching How it’s Made… Did you know it takes 4 days to make a jaw breaker?

Saved by The Bell

As predicted I survived another Friday class, but I didn't come out completely unscathed.  I am still recovering from the adrenaline overflow. I had to go through 4 hours of head throbbing, and heart pounding hell. We spent the last two hours of class going row, by row, awaiting our turn to teach. My mind spent most of that time fixed on the clock hoping that my  back row selection would save me from humiliation, and I know my fellow back row warriors were thinking the same thing. I was only 3 turns away when the clock struck 1:00 and it was time to leave. Saved by the bell..but I know next time I will not be so lucky. Sure, not everyone may think it is such a big deal  but this is where my social retardation kicks in and for whatever reason my mind/body reacts in a "you are going to die" kind of way...which leaves me feeling exhausted when it is all over.

Although I was exhausted, I managed to find the courage to stop in at a local personal training studio called Guiding Fitness on the way home. I scored a chance to shadow the trainer who owns it so now I can get some hands on experience. She was really willing to teach me what she could, and even said that she will try to throw me some clients somewhere down the line to make me some money, and left me with some words of wisdom. “Try not to be so shy.” Damn, I thought I was being outgoing. She saw right through me, my cover was blown.

I finally got home at about 2:30 and after a pre-class run, and two straight hours of aerobics, I was famished. I ate pretty much everything in sight, and turned on the TV to watch Dr. Oz. Before I knew it I woke up to Oprah saying her goodbyes…it was 5:00. I had passed out for two whole hours. Oops. I never nap so this was out of the ordinary for me.

I spent the rest of my evening on the couch with Eric. We ended up popping popcorn and watching Paranormal Activity. Creepy movie…a little too creepy for Eric, but seeing him act like a little girl was especially entertaining. Good times :)

So readers, I am asking for your help. What is it that gives you your self confidence?

Anxious

Despite my best efforts, I have once again let anxious thoughts flood my mind. It's Friday, and to me this means only one thing: Class of Hell. Yes, the class where I get to joyfully jazzercise my way to humiliation.

I was a good student last week and went out and bought a Yoga mat that we were required to bring to class which we never ended up using of course, my luck. This week she wanted us to bring something called a Tune Belt. If you do not know what a Tune Belt is then here it is...

 This high tech peice of equipment ( note my sarcasm ) will put me out another 20.00. Really? College is expensive enough as it is. I can't even afford a belt to hold up my pants, let alone a belt to hold a microphone receiver. Unfortunately I will have to be the bad student this week. I will admit I am a little nervous that I will be harshly punished and put in a corner with a dunce cap...but would literally not having 20.00 be a good enough exscuse?

On another note, my free hours of music on Pandora just ran out. This day is going to be fantastic. I can feel it!

Sorry For the Delay

You might have noticed ( emphasis on might ) that I didn’t write a blog today…well that is because I was too busy working on my homework. As predicted I procrastinated until the morning before class to get it done. Getting past the writers block was kind of tough but if you are interested in what I came up with here it is…let me know your thoughts/suggestions I welcome constructive criticism so be honest.

Along The Shores of Canine Affection

As I sat staring at the rain, I felt a sudden nudge against my hand. Startled by a cold sensation I quickly turned my head only to see a wave of red tongue heading in my direction.  It rolled toward me with unstoppable force as it engulfed my face leaving only my ears untouched. I had been involuntarily washed up along the shores of canine affection.  I quickly wiped off my saliva drenched face with the sleeve of my sweatshirt and looked at him with disgust.  Head tilted, he looked at me with dark glossy eyes while his oversized ears stood at attention.  “What?” I asked him. He let out a high pitch whine as his tail started to wag.   His playful swagger masked his large muscular stature and his shiny shark like teeth were easily forgotten.  He carefully batted at me with his paw, crouched down into play position and began chasing his tail like it was some sort of unforeseen imposter. Feeling nearly hypnotic I watched him run circles around the room and create a dust cloud of white fur. I couldn’t help but laugh as he carelessly raced through the house panting, and snorting. His happiness was surely infectious, and I knew it time to play.

Fears

Yesterday, I posted the quote ""Many complain of their own laziness, but laziness, like money, doesn't really exist except to represent something else." In case you didn't read yesterday's blog...I found this quote in my journal that I wrote two years ago. I wasn't sure why I originially wrote it down, but I thought it was meant to be found to help me fight my packing procrastination. I now realize why I wrote it down, and that it has a completely different meaning to it. I definitely need to fight the urge to procrastinate on packing up all my crap, but the true meaning of this quote was to represent procrastination in my writing.

In my creative non-fiction class yesterday, we were sent home with an assignment. Our assignment was to write about something that inspires us, describe it in detail, and make it appealing to all senses. We can use 1st person, 3rd person, present or past tense, it just has to stay consistant. Not too difficult right? The assignment itself is not difficult, but the barrier I have set up in my mind is extremely hard to break through. I can't think of what to write about, how to write it, and am terrified of writing something absolutely horrible. Knowing me, I will drive myself nuts and not get it done until tomorrow morning before class. So like the quote says laziness does not exist except to represent something else... in my case laziness represents fear which then translates into writers block.

How do you overcome your fears? In life, or in writing?

Boxed up Memories

I finally started packing yesterday. It is time for me to start saying my goodbyes to Lincoln for I only have a few more weeks here. I will soon be living back in Auburn with my parents, and Eric will be leaving for bootcamp March 1st. It is crazy how fast time went by. It seems like just yesterday we moved into this place, and now we are moving out. I have been dreading having to go through the moving process once again, having to pack, clean, and stress...oh joy.

While packing some of my crap up yesterday I learned that I have a little bit of hoarder in me. I was trying to pack things up as organized as possible so that I could easily unpack it later...but I found myself struggling to throw unnecessary items away. I don't know if you have ever watched the show Hoarders on A&E but I was starting to terrify myself.  Visions of the crazy lady who had so much garbage in her house that they found 3 cat skeletons began to haunt my thoughts.  Okay, so I'm not that bad..but I did end up wasting a large amount of time going through old stuff that I had some sort of emotional attachment to.

I started looking through my old yearbooks, and found a few pictures. My biggest question is why didn't anyone tell me how much of a loser I was? Someone should of done me a favor and smacked me across the face. Then again, I could look back on today 5 years from now and think the same thing. If you are wondering how cool I was in high school I will give you a little peek inside my yearbook.

Yes, I played soccer...here was our team page in the yearbook...

Awesome right? Let's zoom in a bit for a better look...

 

Oh look who it is over here in the left hand corner...yep that's me in all my uh..glory. They had to pick this picture right? Yes..this is just how cool I was.

 

It is crazy how much we can change in just a few years, and I know I still have a lot of changing to do. I also found some of my old journals. I couldn't help but flip through them and find out what I was doing on this very day only years ago.  Two years ago I wrote down  a quote that says "Many complain of their own laziness, but laziness, like money, doesn't really exist except to represent something else." I am not really sure what compelled me to write this down two years ago, but I would say it is still pretty applicable to my life today. Guess that means I should stop being a lazy procrastinator.

Are you a procrastinator? If so, how do you force yourself to overcome procrastination?

California Exposed

If you are not from California, you may expect it to look something like this. Warm, sunny, filled with palm trees, and movie stars. In some places it may look like this but here is my reality... 

 Still beautiful, but far from the fantasized picture of California. It is cold and rainy, there are no beaches, no movie stars, and palm trees are few and far in between.

I am not saying that California is not all it's worked up to be, but instead I would like to bring to attention the side of California that is often times forgotten. That's all for today.