It is rare that I get the chance to feel completely comfortable in my own skin. I am feeling more and more comfortable with myself these days but there are still times when I forget that it's okay to be me and not care so much about what other people think. For whatever reason, for darn near my whole life, I have cared more about what others think of me than what I think of myself. Why would I care so much about what others think? It is my life right?
It is interesting to look at just how drastically my life has been affected by my "what do people think of me" paranoia. Not only has it affected me in my everyday life but it has prevented me from being okay with dreaming big. There are times I dream of things I want to do in my life...but then I leave it at just a dream. But does it have to stay a dream? What am I truly capable of? There are times that I choose not to express big dreams and goals with others in fear that they will think that I am in fact only dreaming, have my head stuck in the clouds, and need to come back down to reality. But what exactly is reality and why would I want to come back to it if it sucks? Sure everyone can use a reality check once in awhile but that doesn't mean you can't create realistic goals to pursue a dream.
So now for the scary part. Actually expressing my dreams verbally...or in this case in written form. What have I been dreaming about? Lately I have been thinking about what I want to do after I graduate from culinary school. What do I want to do, and where do I want to go? Since I feel like it can be accomplished I am going to call it a plan rather than a dream. So here is my plan:
Over spring break I got the opportunity to visit a little place called Washington D.C. you may or may not have heard of it.... I knew that it had an awesome food scene and I had been there once before on a day trip with my brother, but getting to experience it for a whole weeks worth of time not only led me to see just how much people in D.C. love their food but I fell in love with the city and culture. My "dream" or plan would be to move to D.C. after I graduate, and work in a few restaurants in the area to gain some experience... or maybe, I would get the chance to work or intern at D.C. Central kitchen. If I really want to get my head in the clouds I could dream of being a chef in the white house...but I think I will give myself a reality check on that one! I have lived on the West coast my whole life so it would be awesome to experience life on the East coast. So is this just a dream? Guess we will find out...but what isn't a dream is another trip to D.C. at the end of June. Watch out D.C. here I come.