Still Moving

There is still so much to be done, and this is probably the last time today that I will be able to sit down. This is less of a blog post, and more of just me trying to fulfill my goal of posting a blog everyday for a year.

I can feel the tension in the air rising. Eric set his alarm for 7:00am so I know he is serious…but if he actually gets up when it goes off, then I know he is really serious. I think I might try and get some stuff done before he wakes up in order to lesson my stress. It is complete chaos up in here. Pray for me.

Moving Day

Well, it’s about that time again. Moving day/Weekend is here and off to Auburn we go. Luckily it is not a two hour drive this time and things should go a little smoother…we should be pretty good at this whole moving thing by now.

I must say that it will be a little sad to leave Lincoln. I will miss the huge bike lanes, the close proximity to my school,  the mall, Trader Joes, Whole Foods, and most of all…sunrise, and sunset.

 

Of course Auburn has some great sunsets as well, but Lincoln’s lack of hills leaves the sunset more exposed and left more easily observed. But there are a few things about Auburn that I am looking forward to. Like hanging out with my mom, and….

Hiking with my Dad ( yes that is a frog next to his camera bag, he didn’t step on it this time ).

Trail running

I can’t wait to make use of the trails in auburn, but first I have to stop stalling and pack up all my junk. I can’t wait until it is all done.

What do you hate the most about moving?

Just My Luck?

This week has been uncharacteristically good. Too good. I feel like a huge lightening bolt  is going to strike me dead at any second, or the ground beneath me is just going to open up and swallow me whole. I am not this lucky…it’s just not possible. Inevitably something must go wrong.

I am still in shock that anything could even remotely go the way I want it to.  I think God finally got tired of hearing me whine and beg, or maybe all of those lucky pennies I picked up finally paid off, or perhaps all of those years of bad luck earned from walking under ladders and opening umbrellas in the house have finally worn off. I should buy a lottery ticket.  This week, not only did my dream job get within fingers reach, but I got a new phone, and avoided having to teach in front of class this morning. But wait, it gets better…there is no class next Friday. This confirms my week of pure luck, and gives it a chance to carry into next week. Double score.

Now that I have recognized my new found luck, Karma is going to be after me as if I laughed at someone else’s misfortune, or parked in a handicapped spot.

So what is one of the best things that has happened to you lately?

Homework Post

I didn’t get to post a blog this morning because  as usual I saved my homework to do until the last minute. So that means you get to read my homework. Critique it, tear it to shreds…let me know your thoughts. Feedback is my best friend so don’t hold back :)

Our assignment was to write a paragraph, ( or more if we felt inspired to do so ) about a process. So this is about one of my first experiences in the process of making coffee.

 

The Good Smell of Bad Taste

I held the unsealed, punctured, and badly crinkled bag under my nose. How can something that smells so good taste so bad? I thought to myself as I stared down the coffee maker that had been previously used only as a decoration. I had tried to use it a few times, but was quickly discouraged by my lack of patience and overall ability to follow directions. Normally my daily caffeine fix came from a more easily accessible source; a source from a can that sat in my refrigerator ready for me to grab at any moment. My canned source of caffeine had been depleted and I was as desperate as a thirsty dog in front of a closed toilet lid. I would have to look elsewhere for a caffeine fix, and unfortunately my only option was a 3 month old bag of coffee sitting in my cupboard. I scooped up the brown, grainy, dirt-like substance from the bag, managing to get more coffee on the counter than in the coffee maker as I read the barely legible directions on the back of the bag that read “Recipe for Great Coffee”. I was unsure great coffee really existed but I was determined to try and make this the greatest coffee that I had ever made.  After placing the carefully measured amount of grounds into the filter, I continued by filling the coffee pot with cold, filtered water, and poured its contents slowly into the top of the coffee maker. Only thirty minutes later, I found out how to turn it on.  My stubby finger’s hastily pressed the buttons in anticipation and it began to brew. Mission accomplished.

The aroma of coffee soon filled the air, and a loud beeping sound penetrated my ear drums. Finally, the coffee was done. I brushed off my dusty coffee mug and proudly poured in my muddy creation. As I held it gently below my lips I felt a comforting warmth brush against my face.  Hesitantly, I took my first sip. The hot liquid flowed through my mouth, burning my tongue, and attacking my taste buds with bitter vengeance.  I shook my head in disgust and knew there was only one way this substance was going to make it past my taste buds, and into my stomach. I quickly plugged my nose, and tilted back my head. Bottoms up.

For Real?

“We all really liked you.”

Those words continued to play over, and over in my head. They liked me? What?

My luck finally changed for the better yesterday. Or perhaps God was just teaching me patience. Either way, I received a very unexpected phone call.

I was on my way home from school, when my phone began to ring. Hmm must be Eric. I thought as I glanced down at my phone. Unfortunately for Eric I had just watched the episode of Oprah about not talking on your phone while driving… and was not going to answer it. Oprah would surely find out, and sick one of her cocker spaniels on me…or maybe Gale. To my surprise the name Hubby ( Eric’s cell phone name in my address book ) did not pop up in it’s usual place.  It was a 916 number, but it wasn’t Eric. I didn’t recognize the number at first…but then I remembered that it was the number of the fitness studio I had just shadowed at on Monday. Sorry Oprah, this call I had to take, I don’t have “people” to take my phone calls for me. I nervously picked up the call assuming I may not be going in tomorrow. Maybe her clients cancelled on her, or maybe I just totally blew it and they hate me.

“Hello?”

“Hi Amber?”

“Yep”

“Hi this is ***** from Guiding Fitness how are you?”

“Good how are you?”

“Good…I was calling to talk to you about something, do you have a minute?” I could sense a bit of seriousness in her voice.

Oh lord, what did I do.

“Yea” I said as cheerfully as possible.

“Great, so my husband and I sat down and had a good talk, well and everyone else in Guiding Fitness…”

Great..here it comes. Brace yourself for the blow. They don’t want you back.

“And we were discussing who was going to replace me when I go on maternity leave…and well.. we all really liked you.”

Wait what? No, I think you meant to say you really don’t like me.

“I think the main thing is though that we have to get you talking more.”

Just talk more..simple…right? I can do that.

“Yea definitely” I said laughing.

I was in such disbelief that the rest of the conversation is a bit of a blur. I don’t think I could continue to quote it accurately so in a brief summery; she continued to talk to me about what I would be doing by taking her place, and what needed to be done to teach me how to do so.

I still can’t believe it. It is such a surreal feeling. I feel like I won the lottery…well In my eyes it is even better than that. I finally get to do what I want to do. Granted I still have the opportunity to jack it all up, and the negative head chatter is trying to take over my thoughts, but for now I am not going to let it. I just want to let the positive thoughts flow through my mind for once. 

I am really looking forward to going in today, but now I am even more nervous because this raises the expectations of me even higher. The pressure is on. Pray for me.

Mind Games

“Her head has always messed with her. For as long as she can recall, it’s thrown hammers at her feet. Some runners have trick knees or fragile hamstrings. She has an undermining psych. When she toes the line in a 10-k, the runners around her wonder if she’ll set an American record. Inside her head though, she’s wondering if she can finish without walking.”

This is a little snidbit of an article  I just finished reading in Runner’s World magazine called Mind Games. It is an article about Kara Goucher an elite runner who is extremely talented, but still struggles with confidence. It captures her journey of training her mind to quell negative thoughts, battle doubts, setbacks, and mental demons that sabotage her big races. I found myself easily relating to this article not just in running, but in my everyday life.

I soaked up every word of the 10 page article, and a quote from Goucher sounded all too familiar. “I have a lot of negative chatter in my head, if I don’t rein it in, my mind will tend to obsess about what everyone else is doing in the race around me.”

These words could of come out of my very own lips. I have unlimited amounts of negative chatter in my head, but I have yet to figure out how to rein it in. Wherever I go I can’t help but compare myself to others. When I am in my English class, I instantly wonder if I should even be there. What if my writing is incredibly elementary and the people around me are on the verge of  being published writers. When I am in my cooking class, I find myself doubting everything I do even though I cook everyday, and seem to have more knowledge than most in the class. ( at least at vegetarian cooking ) <---now I am feeling self conscious that this line sounds too cocky. When I am in my group exercise class hiding, I know that I actually do know what I am doing, I just seem to forget that in front of large groups of people, and think about how much better everyone else did. While I am shadowing the trainers at Guiding Fitness I know exactly what to do, I just doubt myself so much I lack the confidence to do it and find myself standing there like an idiot.

 Standing There Like an Idiot. Now I know what to name my first book. ( if I am even capable of writing a book ).

Lately, a lot of my blogs have been about my lack of confidence in life. I think it is mostly because these past three weeks have been pushing me socially more than I have ever been pushed in my life. I am slowly, (very slowly) learning to push myself mentally as hard as I push myself physically. Running is very mentally and physically demanding, it would be great if I could take some of my running mentality and apply it to my everyday life. 

Although I now hate all this unintended “exposure therapy”, and it causes copious amounts of anxiety, exhaustion, and headaches, it  is probably the best thing in the world for me right now. I don’t want to stay in this bubble forever.

My Gaga Moment

So I contracted Herpes yesterday…No, not the cold sore/genital kind, but the herpes of craft goods…glitter. You always here people talking about having their Oprah inspired "Aha Moment" but I had an unintended "Gaga Moment". Eric and I spent the majority of the day avoiding packing up all our junk by wandering the mall. Of course we can’t really afford to buy anything but it is fun to pretend right?

Anyways, we ended our day at target to pick up dog food and rushed home to watch the Grammy’s. ( I missed Lady Gaga’s performance..not gunna lie I was a little bummed ). Immediately upon arriving home I do my usual rush to the bathroom to pee because I have been holding it all day and caught a glance of myself in the mirror. Hi me…wait…what the hell is on my face? Double take. Oh my Lord. I was horrified.  There I stood standing in front of the mirror with a massive amount of green glitter flakes ALL OVER my face. I immediately opened the door and called Eric over to the bathroom.

“What?” he asked.

“Eric, how long have I had this glitter on my face?!”

“All day.”

“ALL DAY? Why didn’t you say something!?”

“ I thought you put it there yourself.”

“Put it there myself? Since when did I start applying green crafting glitter to my face?”

“I thought you were trying something new and didn’t want to offend you by saying something.”

“You should of offended me.”

We both started to laugh as I wiped the globs of glitter off my face.
My mind tried to retrace my every step that day. How in the world did I get all this glitter on my face? Where did it come from? Did I get kicked in the face by Lady Gaga?

I am still wondering this morning how all that glitter got on my face,  but I can’t help but laugh at what the people must of thought of my fabulously green glittery face. Perhaps they thought I was an avid Lady Gaga fan showing my support for her on Grammy night…or maybe I just loved glitter. Either way…embarrassing.