Sometimes I am still awkward. Alright so...the majority of the time I am still awkward. I guess it depends on who I am with, but usually my awkwardness includes awkward laughter ( sometimes at inappropriate times ), selective mutism, or if I am actually able to spit out a few words it is completely off the wall. Welcome to my life.
I know, people say that being shy is not a bad thing, but it is to me. I hate it. Why? Because people seem to get the wrong impressions of me. They either think I am stuck up, or stupid. Well, one of those might be true... but trust me, if I was stuck up I wouldn't choose to portray it by not talking to you. I try to counter-act the stuck up judgement by smiling. But then I get more of the "I smile because I have no idea what is going on look."
I guess you could say that I hate being shy so much that it actually gets me down sometimes... I mean, I kind of started this whole blog on the subject. I know that being shy could possibly "just be part of who I am." but I still don't think I really am a shy person. I have plenty to say, but for some reason I choose to not to speak. Maybe being shy is more of a defense mechanism for me than anything. Perhaps I am afraid to let people see who I really am. So what is it I am afraid they will see?