Sunday, May 2, 2010


It’s the start of a sunny Sunday which means the day is already off to a good start. I am also meeting up with my friend Laura. What? Amber has friends? Hmm yea okay so I have a couple. A couple that are both knocked up…but technically that would mean I have 4 friends if you count their unborn children…then again they might have already formed a dislike for me in the womb. I guess I will find out in July.

It is kind of weird having two pregnant friends. It still feels like we just graduated high school how did I get this old and accomplish this little.

Do you ever just feel unaccomplished some days? I felt a little accomplished while training people at Guiding Fitness which I no longer do. ( that is a whole other story that I will get to telling eventually ).

Maybe some of the unaccomplished feeling comes from the fact that it is May and people are graduating from college. They look so happy in their graduation gowns and such. Yea I got my AA and my personal training certificate this year but wooptie freakin do. My achievements seem to scream slacker. I guess there is always the chance to slip into the housewife/motherhood role..but for me this could quite possibly be the hardest goal of all to achieve. Have I told you about my extreme fear of being infertile? I think this fear is probably real for many women…but I almost feel as though it is completely real for me. I just have a horrible gut feeling about it. If this is the case then I will have absolutely nothing to contribute to this world. ( Then again that could be a good thing. Who needs more little caffeine addicted moochers running around? )

Out of all my slacker-ness of these years I have discovered one thing. When I continue my education, I don’t want to continue it at a 4 year college. I want to continue it at a culinary school. Culinary school is my goal. Whether or not I can actually make this happen is the question. I would need a lot of support. All I can do for now though is hope and dream. Maybe someday.


  1. Silly Amber, you make me laugh. You have accomplished far more than most girls you're age. Most "ladies" your age are still trolling the bars getting drunk every night and waking up still in their party dresses at 2 o'clock the following afternoon. Don't sell yourself short. And I'm glad that I'm not the only one scared of not being able to have kids.

  2. I know what you mean, I feel that way often. Especially when highschool reunion time comes along...(next year for me)!

  3. @Chicken ugh it is a horrible fear/feeling right? As far as accomplishments go...well it seems like the girls that are strolling the bars waking up in their party dresses are the ones that get knocked up so perhaps there is still time for that. :)

    @Eva Ooh haven't had one of those yet... and don't really want to lol