It has been a year. A year since what? You might ask. Well, it has been a year since I moved out of Marin County. I know it was a year ago, and I only lived there for 6 months so I should move on and get over it. I wish it was that simple but for whatever reason my mind is finding it hard to let it go. This week my thoughts have been even more flooded with memories of Kentfield, Ross, Fairfax and working at Good Earth. I think what may be triggering these memories more than usual is the thought of having to go through the moving process again, and it is the same time of year. The fog also reminds me of my early morning runs, and when I ride my bike I feel like I am riding to work.
Don't get me wrong, living in Marin was not all gum drops and rainbows. It had its ups and downs just like any other place. The grass is never greener on the other side and you can feel lonely in even the most ideal circumstances. I think what I miss the most is being self sufficient. I had a job, and not just a "job", but I worked at a place that I had a lot of respect for. The people were awesome and I was proud to work there. I miss the feeling that I am doing something purposeful. I think I smiled more at work than I did at home. Whether I was helping a customer, or stocking organic chips, I always felt I was playing an important role. Over the years it has been hard even getting a job due to being such a shy person, but this is the first job I had that not only told me it was okay to be quiet, but they embraced it and accepted me for who I was. I was a hard worker and that is what they looked at as being most important, and before I knew it, my shyness started to wear off.
When I look back and try and figure out why I miss Marin so much, the only conclusion I can come to is that it was the first place where I was on my own...for the most part. I had to work through my problems and try to find solutions (which were not always the best ) in my own way which helped me go through a sort of transformation and begin a journey to really discover who I am, or could become.
I still have a long journey of discovery ahead of me, but I am excited to look forward to that journey instead of looking back. But first, I will take one more quick look back...
Every time I hear a Coldplay song this image pops into my head...it's my old running route and I was on a Coldplay kick at the time.
My designated parking spot
I was the best chip stocker in town.
Old Place, which most of the time looked like a tornado hit it. Yes the walls were green..suck it.