Saturday, January 2, 2010

Welcome

Hi everyone, welcome to my blog!

I will start with a little background about myself. I am 23 years old ( well as of tomorrow, happy birthday to me..yay ) I have been married for a year and a half, and have an undying love for running, nutrition, and fitness, which is a whole other blog you can read at  www.amberhaas.com  but for now if you would like to keep reading this one, I will continue on.

People often perceive me as the "quiet one", or the shy girl. Unfortunately for me, this label is entirely false. Only my closest friends and relatives see who I truly am, and the problem is that I fail to unlock this true side of me anywhere out of my little circle of friends and family, and sometimes even within them. I have been told on multiple occasions that I write way different than how I talk, or act. I have found this statement to be fairly true. But which is the best indication of the true me? My words? Or my actions? I believe both hold a certain truth to them, but I do believe that my writing holds a bigger part of who I really am. It allows me to show myself with a certain sense of protection. I can hide behind a computer screen,  delete, cut, and edit. Obviously this can not be done in real life situations.

I was born with a sort of social retardation. I clam up in social situations, or avoid them all together. I know what to say, or how to act, but the problem is actually getting myself to play out my thoughts. Job interviews are a nightmare and I often come out thinking "if only they knew the real me" then maybe, I would get the job. I don't know if even "the real me" would be worthy of much, but at least it would be worth a try. So for now, here is my try. This will be the me that I wish I could show to the world. The "me" that has been suppressed for so many years. Enjoy.

5 comments:

  1. I can totally relate. When I journal it's usually different than how I act or speak out in most situations. Often I have the desire to move away from VA so that I can have a completely fresh start without any labels. I guess that's what happens when you live in the same city all your life. But I appreciate your blog and willingness to put it all out there. Also don't beat yourself up... I don't think you're as shy as you say you are, and I love your witty humor. Keep moving forward! :-)

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  2. I will be so eager to see "This will be the me i wish I could show to the world." I know you can do it...I support you in any way I can. Love you so much! :o) Madre

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  3. As I have always said, behind the shyness is a a vibrant and racing imagination. Your words flow and tumble and chatter excitedly when you write. While you may be outwardly shy, you have great warmth in you and terrific expressiveness with words that other writers would covet. Love you- Dad

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  4. You could rock the socks off an eskimo. I love you sister. Bring the real deal. Go. (Seriously, stop reading this and get to writing another blog...)

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  5. Thanks all for all the positive and encouraging comments :) I love you all!

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