Wednesday, August 25, 2010


I have been having a hard time focusing lately. I still have been blogging everyday but my posts are definitely lacking. I stare at a blank screen every morning only to be distracted by another thought or just cruising the internet for nothing in particular in order to procrastinate. Why can't I think of anything to write? Have I finally run out of things to express?

I was able to clear my head a bit this morning during my run and I have come to realize that I am hiding. My blog is supposed to be a place for me to let out my thoughts and a place to be honest whereas in real life I would only be able to keep them in my head. Lately I find myself holding back nearly as much as I do in real life. Everyday I hold my hands to my keyboard ready to type, but nothing happens. My hands don't want to move, and my mind doesn't want to think about the things that I should be blogging about. It isn't that I have nothing to blog about, it is that I have so much to blog about. 
I find myself afraid of what people reading my blog will think of me, whether I should blog a certain way, or stay on a certain topic. Should I really be writing something I wouldn't say? Is it wrong to be a completely different person in writing?I began to question myself, only to realize that I just want to be me. I want to be as honest as possible. I want people to know me for me, and not just the me I want them to see, but the whole package. Good or bad. Risky? Yes. But I am tired of hiding, holding back, and filtering things that maybe other's can relate to as well. I can't be alone right? 


  1. Of course be who you are....but expect others to respond accordingly and be able to take it. Might not always be what you want to hear, but that's life as far as constructive criticism goes. :o)

  2. Just be yourself. These are supposed to be your thoughts, your ideas. Not what you want to say to please others. Let the chips fall where they may.

  3. I've been thinking about what to write here. There is a lot of things I could say, and a lot of things I know would saying too much.
    I think what I'll say is this:
    You are amazing. Reading this blog everyday has given me insight into your life and what is happening inside you that I don't get to experience in real life because I'm so far away from you. I miss my sister, and this blog is the window through which I get to see you. There are a lot of judgemental, hurt, bent, easily-offendable people in the world, and some of those people even read this blog. However, by being honest you are showing them that it's ok to be vulnerable, and that it's ok to not have everything together. Hopefully in the long run people will begin to understand that just pointing the finger at everyone else to make themselves feel better is not beneficial but just pushes people away. We often point out things in other people that we don't like in ourselves, but I am thankful that you're willing to point those things out in yourself and deal with them. Many people live their whole lives never doing that.

    I love you sister, keep being honest, keep inspiring, and I promise I'll keep reading. I love you.