I have been having a hard time focusing lately. I still have been blogging everyday but my posts are definitely lacking. I stare at a blank screen every morning only to be distracted by another thought or just cruising the internet for nothing in particular in order to procrastinate. Why can't I think of anything to write? Have I finally run out of things to express?
I was able to clear my head a bit this morning during my run and I have come to realize that I am hiding. My blog is supposed to be a place for me to let out my thoughts and a place to be honest whereas in real life I would only be able to keep them in my head. Lately I find myself holding back nearly as much as I do in real life. Everyday I hold my hands to my keyboard ready to type, but nothing happens. My hands don't want to move, and my mind doesn't want to think about the things that I should be blogging about. It isn't that I have nothing to blog about, it is that I have so much to blog about.
I find myself afraid of what people reading my blog will think of me, whether I should blog a certain way, or stay on a certain topic. Should I really be writing something I wouldn't say? Is it wrong to be a completely different person in writing?I began to question myself, only to realize that I just want to be me. I want to be as honest as possible. I want people to know me for me, and not just the me I want them to see, but the whole package. Good or bad. Risky? Yes. But I am tired of hiding, holding back, and filtering things that maybe other's can relate to as well. I can't be alone right?